Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
