i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's shark week go big or go home
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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