3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
