some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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