Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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