i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
