I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the day after is always just damage control
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
