my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
