IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
