pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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