Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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