walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
