He uses pillows to masturbate.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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