Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
