Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I need moral support for this bender
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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