im six kinds of drunk right now
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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