Plan B is the new Plan A
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize