hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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