Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
