I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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