he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
