i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
