i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
