I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize