Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
