This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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