two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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