He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
