Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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