I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
