i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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