I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
