Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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