Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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