You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
