he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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