Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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