You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize