one two three fourrrrnication!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
