508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
being pregnant is like rehab
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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