Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
