I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
