yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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