FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
