..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we're making bets on your personal life
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize