Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
