Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
