brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I love having hate sex.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
