So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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