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u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
