hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i now understand why vodka
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
