either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I forget how to act sober
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
