Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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