well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize