It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
