5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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