True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
