absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Text me some of your sweat
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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