i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
