Tell her she can't have a vagina
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i love accidental penises.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think a kid would responsible me up
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
