how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
